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10 Commandments for a mother-in-law (from woman to woman). Remembering wisdom words of John F. Kennedy that "those, who make peaceful change impossible will make violent revolution inevitable," you have a choice to read an article. My motto is no risk no champagne. What can be compared with a phenomenon of effectiveness of Jewish mothers? American psychology even came out with a special term: "The Jewish-Mother Syndrome." Richard W. Malott at Western Michigan University spent fair amount of time studying this syndrome and found interesting facts: "The Jewish-Mother Syndrome: You can never do it right; no matter how hard you try. So you try harder and harder, because, if you don't, you'll feel even more guilt. Successful people seem driven by this guilt, fear, and anxiety. Without his own Jewish-mother syndrome, we would never have had the world's most brilliant, insightful psychotherapist Sigmund Freud. But, without their Jewish-mother syndromes, Dr. Freud's patients wouldn't have needed the world's most brilliant psychotherapist. Nothing is free. So what happens to the unfortunate who have not had a good Jewish Mother? They will have a low rate of empathetic behavior, and they will also have a low rate of other productive professional or work behavior. Those who have had moderately effective Jewish mothering will start fearing failure at the beginning of the month when the task is assigned and will start to work on it right away, with the immediate results of a mild decrease in their fear, and with the long term results that they complete a high quantity of high-quality tasks on a timely basis." Now it's really understandable that Jewish mother is a key of success. Nothing can depress Jewish mothers more than an unhappy son: she fights and dreams about sons’ happiness. Nowadays successful parenting is becoming very a backbreaking problem, especially in Jewish families. Time is changing rituals and traditions: everything comes from a cyberspace, and only Jewish mothers hold her magic dynamism and potentials. Historically communication between mothers-in-laws and daughters-in-laws is very limited and, for sure, mothers don't know what future daughters-in-law want. Let's try to talk to Jewish mothers . . . Let's try to tell them what we want RESPECTFULLY. Life like love, which "doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remake all the time, made new." 10 Commandments to a mother-in law. - 1. "I'm beautiful, and we’re beautiful!" Every woman must ask herself: "Am I beautiful?" Every mother must teach her son: - "Love is a great beautifier." - Louisa May Alcott - "There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one you notice. A charming woman is one who notices you." - John Erskine - "The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.” - Audrey Hepburn Every mother must ask her son: "Am I beautiful? Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" If SHE (another woman) loves you, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL! - 2. "I'm equal. We are equal!" Ask yourself: "Do I love myself?" Every mother must teach her son: - Everybody's equal in the eyes of Love. - Friendship and Love are as delicate as a glass once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks . . . - "The love we take will be equal to the love we make." - The Beatles Every mother must ask her son: "Do you love me?" If she loves you, WE ARE EQUAL! - 3. For good, for worse: we are with you . . . Ask yourself: "Do I need someone?" Every mother must teach her son: - "In good times and bad times, I'll be on your side for ever more . . . that's what friends are for." - Anonymous - "I hate it in friends when they come too late to help." - Euripides - "Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man.” - Joseph Joubert. - "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Oprah Winfrey Every mother must ask her son: "Do you need me?" If she loves you, WE ARE WITH YOU! - 4. Men are smart. Women are wise. Ask yourself: "Do I respect myself?" Every mother must teach her son: - "Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships." - James Shubert - "You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy." -Erica Jong - A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. Every mother must ask her son: "Do you respect me?" If she loves you, YOU WILL RESPECT US! - 5. We're different... Ask yourself: "Am I different?" Every mother must teach her son: - "Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men." - Joseph Conrad - "To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all." - Helen Rowland - Every man and woman is a star. - "Buy wife flowers on the day of the Super Bowl." - rabbi Shmuley Boteach. - "A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences." - Dave Meurer Every mother must ask her son: "Am I different?" If she loves you, YOU WILL ENJOY THE DIFFERENCE! - 6. Smile More! Ask yourself: "Am I funny?" Every mother must teach her son: - There are no boring relationships, there are boring personalities, who are involved in relationships. What a woman wants in a man? ... The key from his heart. -
We really need only five things on this earth: some food, some sun,
some work, some FUN and SOMEONE." - Unknown - Humor offers an alternative to violence. Humor gives us a choice. Dr. William F. Fry, Jr. Every mother must ask her son: "Do I comfort you?" If she loves you, MAKE US LAUGH! - 7. Don't pretend! Ask yourself: "Do I pretend to be someone?" Every mother must teach her son: - "Honesty: The best of all the lost arts." - Mark Twain - "To be persuasive (important for Jewish men) we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; credible we must be truthful." Edward R. Murrow - "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave. " Mahatma Gandhi - "One of the hardest things in this world is to admit you are wrong. And nothing is more helpful in resolving a situation than its frank admission." Benjamin Disraeli Every mother must ask her son: "Do I pretend to be someone with you?" If she loves you, BE GENUINE WITH BOTH OF US! - 8. Roads to choose: commitment, rejection, loneliness and jealousy. Ask yourself: "Do I fear?" Every mother must teach her son: - "It's so lonely when you don't even know yourself." - Anonymous DISCOVER YOURSELF! - "Everyone is born a king, and most people die in exile." - Oscar Wilde Everyone wants to be a man of success and most of everyone forgets to become a man of value. - "To be successful, you have to believe that you deserve success." - Peller Marion - There is not fear of getting committed to the wrong person. There is fear of being a wrong person. - from my personal experience. - "A kiss is not really a good kiss until it consists of four elements: honesty, responsibility, respect, and last but not least, love." - Unknown Every mother must ask her son: "Do you fear being with me?" If she loves you, DON'T BETRAY US! - 9. Who will decide: Jewish and non-Jewish . . . Ask yourself: "Am I Jewish?" Every mother must teach her son: - Why Marry Jewish? - "There are only two things we can give our children. One of them is roots; the other is wings." - Chinese proverb - Keep your word, if you promised not to marry a shiksa: "The best way to keep one's word is not to give it." - Napoleon - "Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts." - Charles Dickens - Who is a traitor: Jew, who marries Jewish woman without love or Jew, who marries non-Jewish woman for love? Every mother MUST NOT teach her son: fool around with the shiksas, but marry a Jew. Every mother must ask her son: "Do you feel I'm Jewish?" If she loves you, LOVE BOTH OF US! "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelo - 10. Too much love . . . Ask yourself: "Am I overprotected?" Every mother must teach her son: - "Life is tough, but you are tougher." - Andy Rooney - "Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. " - Zelda Fitzgerald. -
"The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at
twenty has wasted thirty years of his life." - Muhammad Ali Every mother must ask her son: "Do I protect you?" If she loves you, PROTECT BOTH OF US! If you feel a little bit of healthy optimism, start to do changes in your life and remember: "If you don't act on life, life will act on you." "To the question of your life you are the answer, and to the problems of your life you are the solution. " - Joe Cordare |